Not so good. Not at all.

It hasn't been good lately. We're still surviving but for how long ? It has nothing to do with our relationship, it has to deal with money. God, why do we depend on money ? It's like the only way you can live is through money, it's so fucking ridiculous. It's so hard for me, people think i have a RICH DAD but wtf it's not like im a rich snobby fucking daughter who rubs it in ALL YOUR FUCKING FACES. Ugh, Today, or this morning started me with a bad day. I left my debit at home, which i barely have money in. I went to the gas station because i had no GAS, and guess what ? no cash on me, all i had was $1.55 in coins. I was pissed at myself. i didn't want to ask anyone for money at the gas station because americans are shitty people. I know that if i ask someone for a little bit money, they'll lie and when they lie .. you can fucking tell they are. UGH so i put $1.55 in my gas tank and drove home. Now i'm home, with a headache AGAIN. i don't know why but lately i've been having headaches. Nothing helps. water doesnt, meds dont help, SLEEP doesnt even help. nkdjghldkjfh i'm so frustrated i feel like my brain or head is going to explode, then i'll just die.

SO back to my original point, sonny and i are going to be fucking stressed because my mother who's selfish and doesn't care is going to move out soon. I can either move in with ashley ? and sonny can go back home because i really dont think we can survive on our own. My job or exjob didn't help me because NO hours NO money.  I don't want sonny to feel like i'm depending on him because he's working, but it already seems like it. I don't tell my dad to give me money, because remember, i'm not snobby like little rich girls. I frequently ask him, but you dont know how our relationship is. i just want to win a lottery, since we depend on money so badly. I hate america. i'm to the point where i just hate, i just hate hate hate hate. 

thx for taking the time to understand.